It's that time of the week again and here is another post for makeup artists/enthusiasts. Nowadays, there is barely any difference between the 2 especially with social media providing a platform for people to literally go crazy. I read this on Glossible and loved it. I hope you do too. There is no way I can publish this post without using the exact same images Shannon used. Here goes, it gets more hilarious as you get to the bottom. 1. Thou shalt not use bronzer as contour.
Shadows are not tan, they have not been to the Bahamas.
2. Thou shalt take into consideration the time and place when contouring.
Pageant? Drag show? CNN? Tear it up…go full Kardashian.
Class? Church? General Public?Go easy and remember that actual people are looking at your actual face (with their actual eyes). Unless you want them to actually laugh at you, you should not look like you fell asleep on a Snickers bar.
Snickers for a snack-Good. On your face-bad.
3. Thou shalt step away from the sparkly shit when it comes to the highlighting step.
Unless you really want it to look like you’ve just walked through Tinkerbell’s fart cloud.
4. Thou shalt blend.
And blend again. And, Sweet Cosmetic Jesus, blend again.
Especially on your damn nose…it looks like you rolled an Oreo down the thing for fun.
5. Thou shalt NOT use Instagram, Pinterest or YouTube as reference for how to contour YOUR face.
Call a pro, ask them how to best “bring YOUR best face forward” and take some serious notes. And maybe some video.
These girls know how to contour their own faces, not yours.
Hire a pro! (I wonder if this might not be a worse idea than watching youtube. Some MUAs though....)
6. Thou shalt remember to add colour to your “sculpted” face with a lovely shade of blush to bring it all together.
And then thou shalt BLEND.
7. Thou shalt step into the glorious sunlight with a mirror and take into consideration whether or not you’re actually pulling this off.
And then thou shalt BLEND.
8. Thou shalt always consider the tone of one’s own skin when choosing the proper contouring and highlighting products.
One shade does NOT fit all. Ever.
9. Thou shalt refrain from telling thine professional make up artist how to properly do their job.
Especially when it comes to Highlighting & Contouring, lest their eyes become permanently lodged in the backs of their skulls rendering them unable to finish your ridiculous face (same comment as 5 above applies)
10. Never draw a penis on your nose. Ever.
Well, I added that one.
While I freely admit that I have been caught in the web of Highlighting & Contouring a couple of times. I would like to think that I have been fully delivered especially after I succumbed to purchasing the Cover Girl Queen last weekend only to discover that it isn't as universal as everyone says it is. I'm still wondering how people apply it as liberally as they do, SMH.
I'm by no means perfect but I'm looking to get better at every step of the way.